How to teach a child to control anger?
Human behaviour, since ancient ages, has been a subject of high volatility. If we talk about children, the graph of behavioural volatility goes even higher.
Children behave in varied forms, happy children seem adorable, sad seem cute, etc.
Many times kids get angry because of multiple reasons or sometimes without even a reason.
But, we as parents have to deal with every mood variation of theirs, as we all know it is not an easy task and a lot of times becomes very challenging.
Children are going through their developmental phases, mood swings happen to children which are quite normal.
Anger seems so simple, but in the backdrop, it is caused by a number of factors, like frustration, disappointment, loss, etc.
When achieving their milestones, they want to do something viz., their mind wants a thing but their body doesn’t support that idea, this also leads to frustration and eventually transformed into anger.
What makes kids angry?
There isn’t one reason for that, it comprises vast issues that a child deals with and gets anguished over.
- They may be physically not at ease
- They feel themselves to be unwanted and alienated
- Lack of sleep
- Not getting what they want
- Not being able to express their feeling
- Not getting proper diet
- Parents not having good relations among themselves, have a drastic effect
They are also subjected to high maltreatment which is a recipe for their anger.
These are some reasons which may make your children angry, but there can be many reasons for it.
If the small issues that kids deals with are prolonged, them it can potentially lead to mental disorder. Report shows it.
Effective ways to get child control their anger
#1 Empathy goes a long way
Often in the real world, we rarely try to see the whole thing from another’s lenses. We are very limited to our perspective, but while dealings with kids this should not be the case.
We have to dig deeper into our children’s state of mind, especially when they are furious over something.
We do not have to react instantly, instead of that parents have to deal with the situation in an empathetic manner.
#2 Give them appropriate words to express and vent
Children as a newbie in this world are always in the learning phase of life. Language learning and getting a hang of words are one of the processes they are dealing with.
Anger builds up inside them, sometimes they do not have the appropriate words to express it.
In these times, parents have to act as an enabler and give them words.
Like, if the child is hurt and can’t put it into words, then parents can say “Oh, you got hurt by a stone”, then they nod, thus getting proper words for their anger.
Check out this anger management book for children on amazon.
#3 Storm passes
Anger is momentary just like storms. Whenever we are in our home and thunderstorms and rains arrive, it hits our mind that we have left the car’s window open.
Then the normal course is, we go quickly and close the windows. We don’t burst into anger upon the sky.
That’s what we are supposed to behave like in a moment with our kids when they are dealing with anger.
We should be working on getting them calmed down not becoming furious at their anger and ranting about it.
#4 Build cordial relations between parents
It seems not so important but it’s one of the most crucial steps to raise a child with good physical as well as mental state.
Imagine a child living in a family where parents have an abusive relationship. What good will it do to a child’s mind?
Even a small quarrel, when noticed by kids, affects them in a harmful way. They feel like they have no one to express themselves. This builds up frustration inside of them.
Even if this situation is regular in a child’s life, then in adult life they will suffer from the trauma of it.
Raising a child is a collective thing and it’s best done when all the players in it are happy and affectionate towards each other.
#5 Appropriate behaviour model for children
When, in anger, a child knows nothing about what to do and how to behave? It’s just the impulse of theirs talking.
Parents come as a refuge to them and give them proper models of behaviour, which is to be learnt by kids and behave responsibly amidst their anger.
#6 Establish proper communication model
Situations for kids get tough while they are angry, a good communication between them and their parents alway proves to be good.
Every time, they are dealing with this, make sure you are speaking softly to them and this behaviour of yours will get instilled into their subconscious.
Next time, when they are angry, they may talk softly because they have seen their parents alike.
#7 Avert the disaster beforehand
Parents know about their kids even more than themselves. Look for cues which gets them off the hook.
Look for the possible situations which have enough potential to get your child triggered. If you successfully manage this, it can do wonders.
#8 Hugs and Touches
Nothing feels better to a person or for instance a kid, a warm hug and affectionate touch by their parents. It makes them feel wanted and cared.
When a child is anguished by something that is troubling them, hugs do the work.
It gets a child and parent in-synced together and a lot of trouble vanishes.
#9 Taking care of children in every possible way
Be it diet, sleep, games, learning, etc. Make sure these important chores of their life do not get disturbed, because it can cause real stress to your kids.
Just taking care of these things will help a lot, sometimes it seems not so important, but trust me, these are as important as anything else.
5 PRO-TIPS for Faster result
- Parents should be calm otherwise there will be no difference between you and your kid
- Divert their attention(in a limited manner)
- Be creative in solving their issues: Try new things everytime
- Don’t tell them “I told you so”, but say “use this as learning experience”
- Don’t tell them to calm down as they don’t have yet learned how to regulate their emotions
- Talk to them in a friendly manner, this will develop a strong bond between the two of you for lifetime.
Don’t get swayed by the unruly behaviour of your kids, because only you have the authority and responsibility to get them on track.
A parent getting impatient will do no good to either the children or the parents.
Just following these steps will put you ahead of the curve.
I hope my article “How to teach a child to control anger” helped you.
Tell me in the comment which technique you are going to apply first.
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